Ericarhodes

First. Love.

February 13, 2017 by Ericarhodes

I just googled “Are there higher rates of suicide on Valentine’s Day?” The answer is NO! But guess what…the number of murders skyrockets!

No. I made that up. But I would think that would make sense, right?

Valentine’s Day is dumb. We all know it. But if you’re in love, it’s definitely fun to rub it in other people’s faces and post disgusting photos gazing into your loved one’s eyes all over social media.

I’m just going through a break up myself. (I don’t wanna talk about it).

I remember my first heartache so vividly.

I was at music camp (with my cello) and I fell in love with a French Bipolar flautist named Alexis who said in a sexy, sexy French accent, “I wear pink and play flute, so Americans theeenk I am gay!” I thought he was amazing. He was angry and passionate and romantic and like no one I had ever met before in Newton, MA. I spent 3 weeks completely ignoring him (which is what you do when you’re 15 and in love). Ignoring him made him fall head over heels for me, of course. And we played Mozart symphonies and stole little flirtatious glances at each other during Orchestra rehearsals.

Before I knew it we were an item but I was so timid I only let him kiss me once. The rest of the time I was a terrible little tease. But we went to a dance together and I felt like I was on some other planet with this boy. He was 16 and unhinged and I was 15 and shy. And all of these feelings were completely foreign to me.

When we had to part ways, because he was only staying for 3 weeks, and I for six, we watched the sun come up over the lake in the morning (I still in my flannel pajamas and he in his pink shirt, of course. Well, I don’t remember, but I assume so). And then I walked him to his bus and cried. He said, “Sweet Erica do not cry…this is just a chapter in your book of life.” He was right but I didn’t understand this and I sobbed all night and locked myself in my cabin and explained to the counselors that I was “going to die from a broken heart.” I was beside myself with sorrow and filled with regret that I had never kissed him again. I wrote to Alexis every day. And I never heard from him again.

At one point, a mutual friend visited him and told me that he kept my letters and he had thrown his flute out the window. But besides that I know nothing about him or his life. And I don’t think he’s on Facebook. But that’s OK. It was a perfect first love. And I never forgot him.

I’m not sure what my point is or if I have one.

Oh yeah. Valentine’s Day. Don’t kill yourself. Or anyone else. If you’re single just think that most likely someone loved you somewhere sometime. And even if it’s a distant memory, it happened. You loved someone. They loved you back. And isn’t that a miracle considering how many people you meet and don’t fall in love with?

Of course, I tend to fall for the guy who throws his flute out the window, but what can ya do. You can’t choose who you fall for. We are who we are. We love what we love. Now, carry on.

PS: Murders tend to increase in proportion to ice cream sales. That’s a real fact I found online.

Love,
Erica

Colds, Termites, Goldfish, Target, Showerheads AKA: Living the Reality

September 21, 2016 by Ericarhodes

Living the Reality

I just finished my bag of pizza-flavored goldfish I treated myself to at Target earlier today after performing on a bar show to a sleepy audience.

That’s now.

Earlier today: I was at therapy. I told Sam I’m having trouble doing basic things like cleaning my room, that I’ve been sick for the past three days unable to motivate myself to do anything except binge watch ‘The Night Of’ (so good). He said, “Well, maybe it hasn’t gotten bad enough yet for you to do anything about it.” “I dunno…I saw some spiders yesterday. I should probably clean.” “Well, you could just force yourself to, but of course that sucks.” “Yeah it really does.”

I got home after therapy and was greeted with not a couple spiders but at least 100 TERMITES!!! The lord hath spoken and he is not pleased, I thoughteth. I went into panic mode (After screaming, of course) and began individually spraying the termites with bleach, then hitting them with books (oh shoot, I wanted to read that one!) and throwing them into the toilet in little rolled up pieces of paper towel. Disgusting, yes. Did I have a choice, no? Called forth into action despite myself, just as Sam predicted.

The rest of the day became massacre plan for the grotesque insects as well as a full on cleaning craze (my landlord can’t see my place like this when I tell her about the problem and she comes to inspect).

I went to Target first. I loaded up my cart with a dustbuster, latex gloves, bleach, Swiffer wipes, paper towels, bug spray, and more. Of course the right bug spray wasn’t there. A young man, new on the job said they didn’t have that kind of insect repellant, but would you like a sample of this Starbucks drink? “What is it?” “I don’t know.” “OK.”

apple

I also bought one pair of underwear, ‘cause I also haven’t motivated myself to do laundry and pizza flavored goldfish, because I’m 12. And I made my way to the cash register.

“Find everything OK?” It’s the same guy who couldn’t find me the right bug spray. “Umm…weren’t you the one just helping me?” “Oh right. The bug spray.” “Yeah…and what would you do if I didn’t find everything I was looking for…” “Ummm….” “Just shut up and give me the goldfish” (I didn’t say that).

I then had to go to Home Depot to get the termite spray. I remembered that my showerhead is broken too. So I asked a guy to help me find the right part for that. Of course when I got home, it’s wasn’t the right part, so now my shower head is still broken and it’s like taking a shower under a hose. At least the water is warm tho, I mean not complaining too much. And if I walk around with shampoo still in my hair, maybe it will smell nice.

I got home, sprayed the s*** out of my apt. And went into a panic of cleaning everything and throwing stuff out left and right that the bugs may have even briefly touched. Even furniture. ‘Cause ewww…

I fantasized briefly about having a man there to deal with all this down and dirty stuff. I come home and he’s there doing push-ups with sweat glistening on his chiseled jawline. But then I immediately snap back into reality and think, ‘Naw…then I’d also have to talk to him and I’m busy right now….doing what? I don’t know! Stop asking me difficult questions!”

One termite had crawled up onto my bedsheet so I grabbed the entire sheet and flung it into my other room, “Get off!!!” I shouted. Then I realized I had no clean clothes, no clean sheets. So I went to my gritty launderette (no I don’t yet have a washer/dryer in my little one bedroom apt). But yeah it’s the Beverly Hills one, so not so gritty, but still! I have to GO there!

The entire day felt like a struggle. And to top it off, I did a show at a bar where my jokes hovered above everyone’s heads like invisible clouds. I muscled through. Then found the pizza goldfish waiting for me in my car, a welcome snack after an uphill set after a challenging day. Came home, no termites. At least, no alive ones.

Now:

I sit on my unmade bed and write this. And I think, “Man…is this really living the dream?” No. Definitely not. Is it worth it? Who the hell knows. I’m alone. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. But….at least I have stories to tell. I’ll leave it at that.

Don’t worry. They’re calling the exterminators tomorrow. And fine. I’ll get back to cleaning, dammit. Shut up!

Yours,

Erica

Comedy Mentors

September 12, 2016 by Ericarhodes

Comedy Mentors

Hi. Y’all,

I’m standing outside the Comedy Store where the door guy, Steve is chatting with me. He’s also a young comic and we are discussing our messed up sleep patterns.

“Oh, I’m up every night until 4,” he says.

“Me too!”

An established comic (not sure he’d want to be mentioned so let’s just call him John) comes out after his set, a ball of excited energy, and launches into a story as Steve attempts to listen while also checking IDs.

It’s about how another comic once said something rude to him a long time ago and now they are good friends. Steve asks, “Did you ever bring up that conversation?”

“Of course not…Listen….when you’re young and stuff happens, you don’t EVER get pay-back. It doesn’t work that way…You move on. And you let it go. You do the work. I once wanted to punch a guy who pissed me off in the past and instead…I hugged him. That’s what you do.”

I admire this advice.

Steve and I both say we take things personally. He says, “Don’t. It’s never personal.”

John leaves the Store and Steve and I both sit absorbing this helpful gold-nugget of wisdom. Then we launch back into our conversation about our sleep patterns.

“As soon as the sun comes up, that’s when I can fall asleep!”

“Me too!”

This week I want to talk about mentors.

Comedy is tough. It’s lonely. It’s a solo art form. You travel alone, you perform alone, you kill alone, you bomb alone. But in between sets, you talk to other comics about comedy, dating, tofu, sanity, and life. And there really is a community there of like-minded people. Comedians tend to be highly observant, intelligent, sensitive people.

The other thing I’ve noticed of late is that they are generous.

As one of my friends and someone I consider a mentor, Kirk Fox says, “We’re all in this together, kid,”

Just to name a few (I hope they don’t mind my calling attention to them since it’s just in a positive context) I have been offered support, friendship, and guidance in the past few months from:

Dana Gould, Kirk Fox, Orny Adams, Allan Havey, Josh Fadem, and Jeremy Hotz. All great comics whom I look up to and greatly admire. They have taken the time to pass on valuable knowledge and encouragement without my even having to ask. They know far more than I do, not just about comedy, but life.

Kirk says I should be less hard on myself and also put the audience first, not myself.

Jeremy says to not give up on jokes. Keep tweaking them if they don’t work right away and to never ever give up on comedy either.

Josh Fadem told me to produce my own show, which I have now been doing for 6 months. And encourages me to keep experimenting on stage.

Orny says to bring more energy on stage, but to always be me.

Dana says I’m “solid” and pointed out what he liked from my set and how I can make a particular joke tighter. Then asked me to be on his show next week. (Come! It’s Sept 15th at the Meltdown…nice plug, eh?)

Allan gave me a ride home once when I got a flat tire and shared his incredible ‘Mad Men’ experiences with me. He also made me laugh so hard making jokes about a guy who broke my heart.

Last night, I had a show at the West Side Comedy Theater in Santa Monica. Before the show, a young comic, Felicia, came up to me and asked, “Can I ask you something? How did you get an agent?”

I told her I got my manager first. I explained how I reached out before even starting stand-up and said, “I’m a young Maria Bamford.” Then he got me my agent. “Always say something about them first. Like you admire their roster or know their clients.”

“Oh! So you reached out first?”

“Yes! You have to let them know you exist!”

“Oh…I was waiting for someone to find ME!”

I gave her more advice about how she can get credits without reps and build her resume. She was so grateful and wrote down everything like a driven, conscientious student.

Then she leaned over and told a friend, “I’m going to make it because of Erica.” I said, “No. You’re going to make it because of YOU.”

I then realized, “Oh. I have stuff to give too.” And it felt so good to pass on information the same way my mentors have done for me.

No matter where we are in our journey, we always have something to give to someone.

Just gotta look around.

(Sorry if this wasn’t that funny a blog entry. I’m so exhausted from writing jokes all week. Sentimentality feels like a vacation)!

Find someone to give to this week, yeah? Even if it’s just half of your tofu wrap (tho who wants that)!

Let me know how it goes. And yes, I took today off social media again. Feels great. Did you?

Yours,

Erica

Social Media Free Sundays

September 5, 2016 by Ericarhodes

Social Media

Social Media, Sundays

Hi y’all. I’ve decided to share some thoughts on my blog every week.

Here’s the first one.

I am trying out a new thing. Social Media free Sundays.

Lately, I have really come to terms with my own addiction to the constant checking of every social media platform, even to Snapchat, which I swore I would never join. I realize it’s an important part of my career, to network, book shows, self-promote, get press, touch base with fans, etc. But also, what about the other things that are also important?

My own self-care. My creativity. My time.

Today, my first Sunday free of social media, I caught myself checking things mindlessly by accident on three separate occasions. This is three times too many of mindlessly doing something. That’s just as bad as mindlessly grabbing a bong, or a wine bottle, or my vibrator…well, maybe not as bad as the vibrator. 😉

I just want to do things with more thought and purpose in my life. It’s definitely difficult. I feel slightly empty. Like I’m supposed to be doing something. Like I might be missing something. But what HAVE I done today?

I had an uninterrupted breakfast with my manager. I didn’t once check my phone and we had a very good conversation about my act and our goals for the next few months.

I spoke on the phone with my Aunt and felt very connected the entire conversation, not distracted by trying to multi-task.

I cleaned up my room a little, something I am constantly avoiding and procrastinating by my use of social media.

I thought about some new jokes. Since I’m not just mindlessly filling the void in my mind, I feel space for creativity and fresh ideas.

I feel more aware of the passage of time. I don’t look at the clock and think, “WTF…where did the past 3 hours go?” I’m more aware of what I did with them.

Now, I’m not trying to preach or anything. But I just wanted to share this in case anyone else wanted to join me in my Social Media free Sundays. I plan to keep on trying this.

I hope at some point to do entire weekends, but starting small! The first step is admitting you have a problem, and I realize I do.

As for my stand-up, I am trying to work on larger chunks in my act, so I can do longer sets without having to remember so many one-liners. And also, I want to try and write some lighter stuff since the past few weeks I wrote a ton of jokes about death. Now, maybe something lighter like tacos…no I’ll never do taco jokes.

I have been getting up more at Comedy and Magic club, which I love. They treat their comics so well. And the audiences are great there. I feel lucky for the opportunity to be part of such a great club. Though, I feel that comedy keeps getting harder. I love the process, but also sometimes it’s such a puzzle! The second I feel like I finally “get” it, it eludes me once again!

I am enjoying being single right now and not dating at all. I sometimes think I get too distracted by the idea of a new person in my life. And right now, I should focus on my stand-up and cleaning my room and stuff.

I’ve been slightly homesick lately. I miss my parents. I wish I could see my sister and my niece and nephew more. Everyone is so spread out. And time does go….as you know. I want to keep better track of it.

My Grandmother is not doing great. She’s 94 and maybe in her last days. My Aunt said she said she wished she had done more sailing and cross country skiing in her life. I’m trying to think of what I wish I would have done more of, if I were 94 looking back.

Let’s log off and ask ourselves these questions once in awhile.

Have a great week.

Yours,

Erica

First. Love.

Colds, Termites, Goldfish, Target, Showerheads AKA: Living the Reality

Comedy Mentors

Social Media Free Sundays